The Reality of my last Month

As some of you are aware I have asked for prayers a couple times in the last month and have stated I was not ready to speak as to why yet. This last month has been extremely rough on our family and it has been a process and a long one. One that is still on going but I figured it was time to let everyone know because I know how much you all care about our family. September started in a rush of excitement and paperwork getting the older two ready for school and the younger three enrolled in birth to three. The older two were so excited for school and Daddy and I were excited for them. until the second week of school, when they went to full day Kindergarten classes for Jaydon. And we started getting the reports....Violent behavior, not focusing, refusing to participate, dissapearing from Music, PE, Recess...a Danger to himself... Our son was not adapting to kindergarten at all. He had slipped through the cracks in Pre-School he wasn't ready for this stress. He wasn't on this level and now we had a problem...A big one... Testing was insued and the behavioral issues proceeded and increased. Now anyone who knows my Jaydon and has spent time with him knows two important things he is kind and he is stubborn...these actions were not my Jaydon...not the boy I know and loved. He was hitting and being mean to his siblings (don't worry not that baby) and acting out at home, school, therapy, even Grammy and Gampa's...It was progressive and agressive and we were at a loss. We were doing everything we could but that change had happened and it wasn't going away. It's been a long month with Physcologist, Nuerologists, Therapists, Teachers, special education workers, para educators...the whole nine yards...So many words were thrown into our world. ADD..ADHD..Austim...Dyslexia...stress factors..Cognative impairment...behavioral issues..and overwhelmed... WE were over whelmed...what did this mean for our son..what could WE do how could we make it better for him. We NEVER blamed him...this wasn't his fault...WE are his advocates and we missed this... and this behavior was his only way to show us something wasn't right for him. When WE can find the right fix he will be the same Jaydon again I just know it. Does that mean I let him get by with this behavior...NO..because he needs to learn to adapt to communicate with his words...not by outbursts I can not allow him to think this is acceptable way to communicate because then he might not go back to my sweet loving child and that is a thought I can not bare.... This last ten days have been the worst...He has been having violent throwing up episodes at night and when we met with his Nureologists it was decided these might be seizures. Daddy had unexplained Seizures as a child starting at about Jaydons age and not ending until he was about 8 and they never knew why or when they would happen. Jaydons diagnosis makes him more supseptable to these then the other children...and now our worst nightmares are becoming a possibility. We have just today recieved some testing answers. Thank God his Cognitive scores were normal (on the low side of normal but normal none the less, the physcologists believe it was only on the low side because of his inability to conentrate and that it is actually much higher then his test scores THANK GOD) However he did test positive for High scores of ADHD...we are not sure of our course of action on this yet because we now must also get a EEG done to test for Seizures...These factors mean a lot of things when combined together and we don't know how it will all work out. But our children are our top priority and our family and Marriage is strong there is nothing in this world we can not handle if we face it together. Cherry has already started "Tutoring" her brother because he responds to her better than anyone else and she wants to help. Daddy and I spend extra time with our other Children when he is at school letting things like dishes and vaccuming slide until they are all in bed at night because we do not want them to feel like they are any less important and when Jaydon is home we have to give him a little extra attention. I am making sure to stay very active in Girl Scouts and Soccer for Cherry so she also feels like she is getting a equal share of our attention. This means a lot of Change for our family but one we will handle. We will try to keep you all updated but it is something I will want to discuss a lot because it is something that hurts very deeply. Logically I know I didn't do this to my son...but emotionally I am his mom I should have been able to protect him...in Utero and now...so it's something I feel personally responsible for no matter how much I know I shouldn't...and telling me I shouldn't isn't going to change that. So for those of you who have been sending prayers our way Thank you and please continue to do so God Bless you all for your thoughts and Prayers