The Countdown begins

Tomorrow is June First and the kids Are super excited...

Because we are starting our Disney count down

We started our Movie a week countdown last night

We watched the Orginal Parent Trap, Circa 1961

I am pretty sure Cherry and I were the only ones that enjoyed it lol

But alas it was fun

Today we did our first Disney craft

A Countdown chain...

I know, I know we have over 700 days until we leave...

Which is why we did a monthly one

It currently it has 26 links on it and tomorrow morning on June 1st we will take off the first link and it will be 25months until we leave for Dinseyland :)

The kids are so excited!!!

And So am I lol

so without further ado

here is our mickey mouse countdown link

First Gather your supplies

 And your helpers :P

 I didn't follow exact Directions to make this..

but there is a tutorial and printable template over at

http://www.familyeverafterblog.com/2013/06/disney-vacation-countdown-free-printable.html

Where I got the idea :)

here is our Finished product

 Kids are super excited to remove the very first link tomorrow

Then we will have 25months to go 

:)

We will remove one link on the first of every month

and the kids don't know yet but they will get to open a goody for every link :)

After we get down to the last link we will make a month long day by day countdown

:) This is so exciting:)

Disney Fever

If you know anything about our family know this...

We like to do things big!!!

Hence the 6 (so far) kids

And after much discussion and a lot of financial figures being looked at...

We have decided to go to Disneyland!!!!

But as mentioned above...We have six kids 

That means now that the decision is made we have to spend sometime saving.

From all the blogs I have read and all the information I have gathered,

The first Steps to planning a Disney Vacation are

Picking your dates (DONE)

and Setting your Budget (also Done)

Because this will be our first actual Vacation

( we have never taken a actual vacation, just visited family on the other side of the state)

We want it to be Amazing...

Redwood Forest

Jelly Belly Factory

San Fransico

Hollywood sights

Disneyland

Seaworld

San Diego Zoo

Legoland

Universal Studios

Seeing Devons Cali family

Death Valley

Las Vegas and Hoover Dam

Yeah that's A LOT of stuff to do with six (maybe/hopfully 7) kids

so it's going to take us two years of saving to pay for it and we will be driving not flying.

Which is A OK with me because Road trips are WAY more fun.

They are also a lot of work lol especially with 6kids

So as you can imagine I have been doing a lot of research and pinning on pintrest.

The kids are EXCITED....

Devon's Excited...

I can barely contain my excitement...

It's just a whole LOT of excitement.

So I will probably be blogging about a lot of it :)

We have 25months and 2days until we get to leave for our Road trip!!!

And of Course that feels like forever

So we wanted to do something NOW because we are so excited!!!

So Devon and I are working up a list of Movies..

Well I already made it but we are fine tuning it lol

In other words Devon's complaing I didn't add more that he wants :P

And we will be watching a movie every week as a family as our countdown for that week

Most of them are Disney movies and we threw in a couple Lego and Universal Studios ones

since we are visiting both those places too.

The best part is once a month we will do a themed Dinner and a Movie night :)

:) I will post a blog with the details for each of those as we do them ;) and photos as well

I am also currently working on another vacation project...well two more actually

Becuse you know one HUGE one isn't enough lol

The first project I am working on is a Disney Vacation planning binder...

Let me tell you... It may sound crazy...

But after all the research I have done and with the fact there will be between 9 and 11 of us on this trip I realized that I need a area to keep everything organized.

It's still a work in Progress so I will post more photos when I finish it but here the cover :) 

 I saw lots of different versions online but I didn't really like any of them

So I decided to make my own version

Which I love

Even the imprefections

 I love that's it is totally me

:D

It's all in the Details

I am also working on making the kids "Busy books"

So far I just have the covers done on these

(I need to buy a printer so I can print all the stuff I want to do for them)

and a laminator as well. 

So they are a work in progress also.

But we took all the kiddos to the store and let them pick out 2sheets of scrapbook paper

and some stickers.

And their covers turned out awesome :)

Aren't those so cute :)

can't wait to fill them with goodies to keep the kids busy in the car :)

I will post another blog post when I finish making them so you can see what I put in them

And we also bought some goodies for when we go to the park

I have read everywhere that it's best to buy all the little goodies like this before you go to the park

It will save you tons of money

Noise markers for the parades

:) That's all the Disney news for now :) 

can't wait to share our journey with you

Depression...

     Depression is a horrible Illness that affects millions of people. 

It's ugly and heartbreaking and comes in many forms. 

You can't put someone that has depression in a category anymore then you can 

someone who has cancer.

My Name is Nancy, I am 27years old, Happily Married, I have Six beautiful amazing kids...

I am BLESSED...

I am also Depressed. 

Man that's hard to write. 

Talking about being sick isn't something I do well.

I know I shouldn't feel ashamed or angry at myself.

Depression is a sickness...

I don't blame anyone who has it,

I don't think them weak,

I don't think they are over-exaggerating. 

But I blame myself, I think myself weak, and I feel like I am making a mountain out a mole-hill.

Depression is a black hole that sucks you in and won't let you go.

It eats at you, makes you doubt yourself.

There are many forms of depression.

Hormonal...

Mental...

Emotional...

My depression is a emotional depression.

Meds don't work.

Talking it out doesn't work.

It kills me because it's a daily struggle for me when it rears it's ugly head.

I haven't had a stretch of depression in almost 4years.

But recently I have had a lot of...

let's call them triggers..

Big emotional things that weigh down on me.

Most of the time I am great at handling things.

But there are some triggers I can't fight.

My Dad's death...

My Miscarriage..

Ect...

Recently I have suffered a couple triggers...

Some not so difficult to fight through...

And one that broke me.

A couple of you know what I am talking about...

But most of you don't.

I am a private person when it comes to certain things.

This Trigger being one of them.

I know people are going to tell me to talk about it...

It'll help...that's what you believe.

It won't..

I have talked about it.

With the person who caused it.

With a few people close to me.

It's been a daily struggle the last couple months.

Don't get me wrong.. I am blessed. 

I know this.

 I remind myself every moment of everyday.

But Depression isn't a easy foe to beat.

Depression eats at me in ways I know, I see them, I feel them, I recognize them...

But that doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter when I wake up in the morning and I feel exhausted...

I feel like I could close my eyes and never wake up...

And I know, It's depression.

It's trying to take this from me.

I know that. 

I push off that need to curl up under the covers and go back to the darkness.

I get up and I kiss my kids. 

I get them dressed and I feed them breakfast.

I get them to school and I come home with the littles.

Then that's all I have in me.

I think...

I should want to clean, to cook, to bake, to edit photos, to play with the kids...

To do anything that makes me happy...just anything.

But I don't want to do anything at all.

I sit feeling isolated.

Feeling sick.

I don't eat.

I barely drink.

I feel alone and weak and tired.

I know I am not alone. I push myself up.

I hug my kids and pull them in for cuddles.

I try to get the motivation to do the dishes,

To tackle the laundry.

To make dinner.

I could care less about doing it.

Anyone who knows me knows that's not normal.

I surround myself in chaos..

In busy work.

I always have...

It's my cure all.

I can't get down and out. I won't let depression win..

If I keep myself busy. 

If I am do do doing, depression can't catch me to set in...

Until I trip and stumble on a big old emotional road block...

When those bring me to my knees the depression reaches from the shadows and grabs hold.

Then it's a fight...

I try so hard to kick it loose..

But sometimes it takes way longer then I would like.

Today I won...

First day in months I have gotten shit done.

I didn't want to.

I kept thinking...

This is to much to do. 

I should just stop.

It can wait...

Or should I say depression kept trying to make me think.

Then I would shake my head and say no.

No I just have to do "insert whatever I was working on"

I just have to focus on finishing this.

Then I would start the next thing and fight the same battle.

Before I knew it. I had cleaned my kitchen.

Top to bottom.

Done all the dishes.

Started a crockpot dinner.

Cleaned my dining room top to bottom.

Done laundry.

Taken out the trash and recycle.

Cleaned the living room.

Vacuumed.

Mopped.

And I thought...Okay I got this...

And then...I got another trip in my road.

Not a big one...

Not one that would normally phase me in the slightest.

But the problem is once I am depressed...

Everything is big.

Because depression makes me feel small...

It makes me feel low and dragged down.

And when you are so low...

Every LITTLE thing...seems so big.

And it pulls you down.

It weighs you down.

And I thought.

Not again.

No I don't want to be pulled down.

I don't want to eat three bites of dinner and feel full.

I don't want to lay on the couch and feel numb at the same time I feel super sensetized.

I don't want Depression to win.

So what do I do.

I face my foe.

I stand toe to toe with Depression and I don't back down.

The first step to beating your enemy is recognizing your enemy.

I see you depression.

I know you as well as you know me.

You aren't as subtle as you think.

And You will not win.

I am Nancy, I have been fighting depression since I was 8years old.

Many times Depression has won the battle...

But it will not win the war.

I am 27, Happily Married, have 6 beautiful children...

I am BLESSED

And I have depression...

But it does NOT have me.

-Nancy