They Grow

When we are young all we want to do is hurry up and grow up. But then when we do and we become parents..
We hope
We Pray
We wish...
For our kids to stay little for awhile longer.. But they don't.. They too must grow.
It's bittersweet really.
Because watching them grow into young respectable little individuals we have raised them to be is pretty amazing. But we also wish they'd just stay little babies for awhile longer.
Eventually we have to give them a little room to spread their wings, let them take steps to be their own person. It starts slow and grows quickly just like they did.

            Today I took my first step into letting my daughter spread her wings. My oldest is 8 and today she went to day camp for Girl Scouts from 9am-4:30pm I won't be with her and she's not with her Daddy or another family member. It's scary for both of us. I am a very protective mom and she's never done anything like this before, so it's new for both of us. But we both needed this warm up... Because in ONE MONTH she's doing actual camp...4 days without me...four days away from me...not within a 5minute drive...No she will be 2hours away.. Hopefully she will be having fun and laughing and not missing me. Because she's a kid and that's what kids should do. Have fun at camp and make great memories. But I will be home, filled with worry and missing her like crazy. I know I have to let her spread her wings a little at a time. So she can learn to fly. I am sure she will stumble (and scare me greatly) a time or two in learning to fly. But I also know that in the end she will take to the sky and be strong, independent and beautiful.. Just the way I raised her to be. I have to remind myself that by taking a step back..even just a little one..letting her have some freedom... It's a good parenting choice...Even if it does break my heart a little. Because inside, deep down in the heart of me, where I grew her and loved her as much as my next breath.. I will always need that connection and always pray she stays little. But I will make the choice that is hard for me, because it's right for her.

We are babies and then we grow..
We make babies and they too Must grow.
#circleoflife

Summer Time Bucket List

It's offically summer here at the Benson house

(although considering my kids are doing 5pages a day in their workbooks by choice you wouldn't know it)

And As a family we made a list of things we want to do this summer

So here is our Summer 2015 Bucket list

Tball banquet 

(Already done and it was a blast)

GS family BBQ 

(Done and Cherry earned her super seller award and registered for a day camp and a full camp with her Cookie dough money she earned from Cookie sales :) we are so proud of her)

(Yes my kids consider these things treats because playing and participating in sports and activities is a privilege)

We of course will have weekly (when we remember) movie nights as well as weekly game nights! 

( our new traditions thanks to the kids getting older)

Going to spend the weekend at grandpas Both as groups of Girls/boys 

and do down river days as a family 

(boys already spent their weekend with Grandpa)

Possibly going to Boise for the weekend ( for daddy's work)

Silverwood 

😄

 (our first time ever at a theme park for the kids and they had a blast! so did mommy and daddy)

Then I let each kid choose one thing they absolutely WANT to do this summer

Cherry- hiking

Jaydon- family day at Aquatic center

Mack- Drive in Movie (in daddy's truck)

Emmit- wonderland 

Gracie- möbius hands on

The boys picked a father son activity 

Fishing with daddy

And the girls picked lunch out with mommy

Then we are writing down other maybe ideas... (Here's what we have)

Möbius science

Day at CDA lake

Tripleplay (this is a me choice lol)

Silver mountain (again me)

Day at riverfront park

Learn something new as a family

Fro Yo date (we've never had it)

Ice cream date

Camping (this probably won't happen but I told them we'd put it on the list)

Dinner out as a family

Trip to farmers market

Trip to green bluff

Dance party in Daddys truck

A star Gazing night in Daddys Truck

Sidewalk Chalk party

Big homemade Bubbles in the yard

We've already started marking off some stuff from the list as you can see :) 

plus we have done some pretty awesome stuff that wasn't on the list.

While the boys went to have their Grandpa weekend Cherry and Devon had their 

"Father/Daughter" date (I bought them tickets to Jurassic world as Devons fathers day present)

And Gracie, Aria and I had a tea party complete with sweet treats from "Frostings" a local bakery

We are super excited to make memories this summer and take time to enjoy this life we've created.

We hope this inpires you to make a list of your own and make memories of your own.

With love 

The Benson Bunch

Fathers Day 2015

Father's day 2015

The best way to sum it up would be a clusterfuck

Is it sad when the best part of your day is the part where you're at work...

Probably...

I had all these grand fun plans and ideas...

And life sucks and people suck and none of them went as planned.

But alas my Husband has a good fathers day...

Even if I was a bundle of stress and frustration.

And that's what matters...

And I did manage to get some photos :)

So instead of going into detail about why I was overwhelmed with Frustration and irritation yesterday

I will just share some super cuteness

Just gonna leave these right here...

Happy Father's day to two very imporant awesome men

My hubby and His Grandpa

(ps. Sorry I haven't shared our Summer bucket list yet, I will post it soon)

The Countdown to School being out

It's almost "Offically" Summer

                Despite the fact that we have been summer like weather for over a month, and by summer like weather I mean 80 plus degree weather it's not summer until school is out.  Two more days until school is out for the summer break. We have a busy week so hopefully the days pass quickly. For my kids I hope they don't pass two quickly. I remember being their age and being excited for summer, while also being sad school was ending. This year is bittersweet for my children, as they won't be returning to Longfellow Elementary next year. 

               Daddy and I have talked and discussed homeschooling the kids to death for the last two years. It's been something my heart was very drawn too. I absolutely love my kids teachers but they are not given the support and funding they need and they are over taxed. There isn't much I can do about this that I haven't already done. We voted for the funding and smaller class sizes.. It passed, and Yet here we are.. teachers still haven't gotten a pay raise, they don't have smaller class size, or extra help in the classroom, or the funding to help our children. We stood by our teachers in their walk out, I completely agreed with them standing up for OUR KIDS. But alas after two years struggling with wether I could do this, or if I'd be biting off more then I could chew.. I sat and I prayed and I thought... Let go and Let God. 

                Homeschooling my children has been something I have been drawn to do and I am finally jumping in to do it. We made the offical decision last week and talked to our kids about it. I explained why I wanted to homeschool them, all the ways it's different then public school, and they were excited. God bless their little hearts, that was one big relief for me. We have started to organize and purging our basement in preperation for having a designated learning space. I have joined some homeschooling groups. I have spent the last couple years bugging all those I knew that homeschooled getting the low down and preparing myself for this. I am not going in with my eyes closed. My nerves are slowing leaving me about this decision as I jump into this new chapter of our life. 

             But alas we are still excited for the countdown to school to end. We have Jaydons tball banquet tonight, and then tomorrow we have to get everything ready for this weekend. Thursday is the last day of school and school get's out at 1:30 and Jaydon has his Shriners appointment at 2:30 and then the boys will be going to Grandpa's for the weekend, I don't know who's more excited, Grandpa or the boys lol. We have Cherry's GS Family BBQ Thursday night. Then the girls and I get to have a mommy/daughter day on Friday, and we kick off the first weekend of Summer with three photo shoots on Saturday as well as a BBQ and a photo Shoot on Sunday and a Family Fathers day Dinner :) We are very excited for all the things we are doing this summer! What is your family looking forward to most this summer? My kids and I made a Summer Bucket list!!! I will be posting it on my next blog post :) Here's to summer 2015!!!

The Countdown begins

Tomorrow is June First and the kids Are super excited...

Because we are starting our Disney count down

We started our Movie a week countdown last night

We watched the Orginal Parent Trap, Circa 1961

I am pretty sure Cherry and I were the only ones that enjoyed it lol

But alas it was fun

Today we did our first Disney craft

A Countdown chain...

I know, I know we have over 700 days until we leave...

Which is why we did a monthly one

It currently it has 26 links on it and tomorrow morning on June 1st we will take off the first link and it will be 25months until we leave for Dinseyland :)

The kids are so excited!!!

And So am I lol

so without further ado

here is our mickey mouse countdown link

First Gather your supplies

 And your helpers :P

 I didn't follow exact Directions to make this..

but there is a tutorial and printable template over at

http://www.familyeverafterblog.com/2013/06/disney-vacation-countdown-free-printable.html

Where I got the idea :)

here is our Finished product

 Kids are super excited to remove the very first link tomorrow

Then we will have 25months to go 

:)

We will remove one link on the first of every month

and the kids don't know yet but they will get to open a goody for every link :)

After we get down to the last link we will make a month long day by day countdown

:) This is so exciting:)

Disney Fever

If you know anything about our family know this...

We like to do things big!!!

Hence the 6 (so far) kids

And after much discussion and a lot of financial figures being looked at...

We have decided to go to Disneyland!!!!

But as mentioned above...We have six kids 

That means now that the decision is made we have to spend sometime saving.

From all the blogs I have read and all the information I have gathered,

The first Steps to planning a Disney Vacation are

Picking your dates (DONE)

and Setting your Budget (also Done)

Because this will be our first actual Vacation

( we have never taken a actual vacation, just visited family on the other side of the state)

We want it to be Amazing...

Redwood Forest

Jelly Belly Factory

San Fransico

Hollywood sights

Disneyland

Seaworld

San Diego Zoo

Legoland

Universal Studios

Seeing Devons Cali family

Death Valley

Las Vegas and Hoover Dam

Yeah that's A LOT of stuff to do with six (maybe/hopfully 7) kids

so it's going to take us two years of saving to pay for it and we will be driving not flying.

Which is A OK with me because Road trips are WAY more fun.

They are also a lot of work lol especially with 6kids

So as you can imagine I have been doing a lot of research and pinning on pintrest.

The kids are EXCITED....

Devon's Excited...

I can barely contain my excitement...

It's just a whole LOT of excitement.

So I will probably be blogging about a lot of it :)

We have 25months and 2days until we get to leave for our Road trip!!!

And of Course that feels like forever

So we wanted to do something NOW because we are so excited!!!

So Devon and I are working up a list of Movies..

Well I already made it but we are fine tuning it lol

In other words Devon's complaing I didn't add more that he wants :P

And we will be watching a movie every week as a family as our countdown for that week

Most of them are Disney movies and we threw in a couple Lego and Universal Studios ones

since we are visiting both those places too.

The best part is once a month we will do a themed Dinner and a Movie night :)

:) I will post a blog with the details for each of those as we do them ;) and photos as well

I am also currently working on another vacation project...well two more actually

Becuse you know one HUGE one isn't enough lol

The first project I am working on is a Disney Vacation planning binder...

Let me tell you... It may sound crazy...

But after all the research I have done and with the fact there will be between 9 and 11 of us on this trip I realized that I need a area to keep everything organized.

It's still a work in Progress so I will post more photos when I finish it but here the cover :) 

 I saw lots of different versions online but I didn't really like any of them

So I decided to make my own version

Which I love

Even the imprefections

 I love that's it is totally me

:D

It's all in the Details

I am also working on making the kids "Busy books"

So far I just have the covers done on these

(I need to buy a printer so I can print all the stuff I want to do for them)

and a laminator as well. 

So they are a work in progress also.

But we took all the kiddos to the store and let them pick out 2sheets of scrapbook paper

and some stickers.

And their covers turned out awesome :)

Aren't those so cute :)

can't wait to fill them with goodies to keep the kids busy in the car :)

I will post another blog post when I finish making them so you can see what I put in them

And we also bought some goodies for when we go to the park

I have read everywhere that it's best to buy all the little goodies like this before you go to the park

It will save you tons of money

Noise markers for the parades

:) That's all the Disney news for now :) 

can't wait to share our journey with you

Depression...

     Depression is a horrible Illness that affects millions of people. 

It's ugly and heartbreaking and comes in many forms. 

You can't put someone that has depression in a category anymore then you can 

someone who has cancer.

My Name is Nancy, I am 27years old, Happily Married, I have Six beautiful amazing kids...

I am BLESSED...

I am also Depressed. 

Man that's hard to write. 

Talking about being sick isn't something I do well.

I know I shouldn't feel ashamed or angry at myself.

Depression is a sickness...

I don't blame anyone who has it,

I don't think them weak,

I don't think they are over-exaggerating. 

But I blame myself, I think myself weak, and I feel like I am making a mountain out a mole-hill.

Depression is a black hole that sucks you in and won't let you go.

It eats at you, makes you doubt yourself.

There are many forms of depression.

Hormonal...

Mental...

Emotional...

My depression is a emotional depression.

Meds don't work.

Talking it out doesn't work.

It kills me because it's a daily struggle for me when it rears it's ugly head.

I haven't had a stretch of depression in almost 4years.

But recently I have had a lot of...

let's call them triggers..

Big emotional things that weigh down on me.

Most of the time I am great at handling things.

But there are some triggers I can't fight.

My Dad's death...

My Miscarriage..

Ect...

Recently I have suffered a couple triggers...

Some not so difficult to fight through...

And one that broke me.

A couple of you know what I am talking about...

But most of you don't.

I am a private person when it comes to certain things.

This Trigger being one of them.

I know people are going to tell me to talk about it...

It'll help...that's what you believe.

It won't..

I have talked about it.

With the person who caused it.

With a few people close to me.

It's been a daily struggle the last couple months.

Don't get me wrong.. I am blessed. 

I know this.

 I remind myself every moment of everyday.

But Depression isn't a easy foe to beat.

Depression eats at me in ways I know, I see them, I feel them, I recognize them...

But that doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter when I wake up in the morning and I feel exhausted...

I feel like I could close my eyes and never wake up...

And I know, It's depression.

It's trying to take this from me.

I know that. 

I push off that need to curl up under the covers and go back to the darkness.

I get up and I kiss my kids. 

I get them dressed and I feed them breakfast.

I get them to school and I come home with the littles.

Then that's all I have in me.

I think...

I should want to clean, to cook, to bake, to edit photos, to play with the kids...

To do anything that makes me happy...just anything.

But I don't want to do anything at all.

I sit feeling isolated.

Feeling sick.

I don't eat.

I barely drink.

I feel alone and weak and tired.

I know I am not alone. I push myself up.

I hug my kids and pull them in for cuddles.

I try to get the motivation to do the dishes,

To tackle the laundry.

To make dinner.

I could care less about doing it.

Anyone who knows me knows that's not normal.

I surround myself in chaos..

In busy work.

I always have...

It's my cure all.

I can't get down and out. I won't let depression win..

If I keep myself busy. 

If I am do do doing, depression can't catch me to set in...

Until I trip and stumble on a big old emotional road block...

When those bring me to my knees the depression reaches from the shadows and grabs hold.

Then it's a fight...

I try so hard to kick it loose..

But sometimes it takes way longer then I would like.

Today I won...

First day in months I have gotten shit done.

I didn't want to.

I kept thinking...

This is to much to do. 

I should just stop.

It can wait...

Or should I say depression kept trying to make me think.

Then I would shake my head and say no.

No I just have to do "insert whatever I was working on"

I just have to focus on finishing this.

Then I would start the next thing and fight the same battle.

Before I knew it. I had cleaned my kitchen.

Top to bottom.

Done all the dishes.

Started a crockpot dinner.

Cleaned my dining room top to bottom.

Done laundry.

Taken out the trash and recycle.

Cleaned the living room.

Vacuumed.

Mopped.

And I thought...Okay I got this...

And then...I got another trip in my road.

Not a big one...

Not one that would normally phase me in the slightest.

But the problem is once I am depressed...

Everything is big.

Because depression makes me feel small...

It makes me feel low and dragged down.

And when you are so low...

Every LITTLE thing...seems so big.

And it pulls you down.

It weighs you down.

And I thought.

Not again.

No I don't want to be pulled down.

I don't want to eat three bites of dinner and feel full.

I don't want to lay on the couch and feel numb at the same time I feel super sensetized.

I don't want Depression to win.

So what do I do.

I face my foe.

I stand toe to toe with Depression and I don't back down.

The first step to beating your enemy is recognizing your enemy.

I see you depression.

I know you as well as you know me.

You aren't as subtle as you think.

And You will not win.

I am Nancy, I have been fighting depression since I was 8years old.

Many times Depression has won the battle...

But it will not win the war.

I am 27, Happily Married, have 6 beautiful children...

I am BLESSED

And I have depression...

But it does NOT have me.

-Nancy

Motherhood is...

Motherhood is...

Complicated

Exhausting

All consuming

Hard work

It's also...

Amazing

Breathtaking

Awe Inspiring

Perfection

Sometimes right when we think we are going to loose our minds...

Right when the baby is screaming and can't be consoled...

The Toddler is trying to clog the toilet with toilet paper...

The boys are fighting...

The oldest boy is whining he's thirsty...

And your oldest child isn't listening about doing her chores that she has to do because she got grounded..

Right when you want to curl up and cry or scream why...

Right then...

Something happens...

The baby smiles at you and you see that new tooth coming through..

The toddler takes herself potty and says "MOMMY MOMMY I DID IT"

The boys start playing cars and giggling, then hug...

The Big boy gets himself a water...and shares with his siblings...

And you hear as your oldest sings a song to her baby sissy to put her to sleep...

And all the other stuff...just kinds of fades away.

The crappy day isn't so bad anymore.

The stress isn't so overbearing.

You don't feel so overwhelmed..

Because...you got this.

Motherhood Is...

Just for moms

Because only a mom could love you unconditionally 

No matter what you put her through.

Because those moments that make us stop in our tracks...

Tells us we are doing this thing called Motherhood...

Just right.

Cherry and Aria 4/30/2015

The life of a busy mom...

This Crazy life I live is that of a busy mom..

So please accept my apology for not posting a new blog in so long. 

The last time I posted was the middle of January...and now it's almost May..

Crazy how time flies.

Since the last time I posted some pretty awesome stuff has happened to our family.

Emmit is now three and Gracie is two ;(

(excuse me while I bawl my eyes out)

We had a big combo party for them and it turned out awesome 

We paid off my truck :) so now it's ours free and clear. 

It's our first financed vehicle and the first vehicle we owned the wasn't over 15years old.

So this is pretty exciting news for us lol.

We also bought another vehicle :D which let me tell you has been a Godsend the last couple months.

Everyone this is Beauty ;) our newest baby...

Isn't she a beauty 

Get it lol

Okay enough with the jokes 

We also bought another household appliance

(our second such purchase)

make fun if you must but these are pretty damn amazing things for us lol

We bought a washer and dryer :) 

And it's a super nice brand new samsung set

WE LOVE IT 

We also made multiple trips to Western Wa since the beginning of the year 

and we have two more scheduled in June

That's pretty awesome for us as well to have the finances to do these things :)

We have been able to see family and friends from over there again and it's been awesome

On our First trip we took the kids to Snoqualmie falls

 And we got to see a lot of people we love

Here is just one shot of some of the people we love

The Benson and Baxter Bunches

We did a HUGE family trip to the Woodland park zoo a couple months ago :)

A shot of the kids from our zoo trip <3

I love these kiddos more then words can say

(note this is missing Aria and my niece Panda who was also there)

We celebrated Devons birthday with our first family bowling night 

Gracie is potty trained..there are accidents of course

but she only wears a pull up to bed 

Cause mommy doesn't want to wash her bedding all the time lol

but most mornings she wakes up dry and goes straight to the potty

YAY for one baby in Diapers lol

And speaking of baby...

She's not so little anymore ;(

seriously these kids need to quit growing on me

Say hi to Aria who is now 8months old :(

She's crawling and laughing and plays hard with her best friend...

Gracie

Big Diva has created a little Diva and suprisingly she gives into her all the time

We celebrated a nice Easter with Grandpa here at the house and enjoyed a nice quiet dinner.

And then we jumped right into the chaos of our family busy season

Three kids in Soccer with different practice times

oh and did I mention we are coaching Jaydons team..

Yeah no one else would step up :P but it's been fun

And Cherry Sold her little tooshie off for cookie sales.. 604boxes!!!

I am pretty damn proud of her..

But of course cookie season overlaps with soccer season so that was fun to juggle

(remember I said that having that second vehicle was a god send..yeah there ya go) 

Also Devon's new schedule is such a blessing..in fact his Job is in general.

Then cookie season was finally over but we still have regulart GS meetings.

Three different soccer practice times and games.

Oh and Jaydons therapy. 

Not to mention life in general lol.

And now it's tball season and soccer season isn't over. 

Tball practice started this week..Soccer isn't over until last weekend of May...

I know I am insane...it's okay to say it.

We are also working on a spring project here at the house on top of our crazy schedule.

So that's been fun lol 

I will be posting photos and blogging about it once we get the first part done. 

So if everyone was wondering what we've up to..

There you have it in a nut shell...

Oh I forgot we also survived a severe stomach bug that hit everyone in the house except Gracie..

Sending 3 of the kids to the ER and causing Jaydon to have a breakthrough sezuire...

And Devon and I are discussing when we want to try again for baby Benson number 7...

I have a doc appointment end of July to check in with my doctor and get the okay to try....

So stay tuned on that front....

Baby Benson number 7... coming 2016

That's all for now folks

-The Benson Bunch